assorted gifts of varying opulence

Polspotten's brass candelabra, as twisted as an old apple tree.

Bridie Hall's intaglio soaps, for getting into a (classical) lather.

A golden gown by Simone Rocha, for sitting for your official portrait.

Delectable almond cookies, packed in a keep-forever tin.

Weiner Time's exuberant cushion, for decadent lounging.

Buly matches, scented with violet and rose.

A diamond-shaped tin of marzipan sweets, because marzipan always feels fancy.

A POJ Studio kintsugui kit, for making repairs in gold.

A Hogarth Press first edition of Virginia Woolf's Monday or Tuesday, with plates by her sister, Vanessa Bell.

Bookmarks fit for royalty, designed by Ark Colour Design in Scotland.

A truly luxe hot-water-bottle cover, made by Samantha Holmes of ethically sourced alpaca and wool.

Smart shoes are always a treat—these are Tibi's Randolph flats in zebra-print pony hair.

A bottle of tears—could anything be more precious?


One more indulgence: These funny gift guides are an annual delight to compile for all of you anonymous folks out there. I don't make any money from them—no affiliate links, no placements, nada! I'm an online renegade!—but if they have brought you joy or amusement, please consider making a donation to Doctors Without Borders. I'm donating what I can, too, and holding the people of Palestine, Ukraine, and Sudan in my heart. Thank you.