Polspotten's brass candelabra, as twisted as an old apple tree.
Bridie Hall's intaglio soaps, for getting into a (classical) lather.
A golden gown by Simone Rocha, for sitting for your official portrait.
Delectable almond cookies, packed in a keep-forever tin.
Weiner Time's exuberant cushion, for decadent lounging.
Buly matches, scented with violet and rose.
A diamond-shaped tin of marzipan sweets, because marzipan always feels fancy.
Lelet's bobby pins decked with chain bows (best worn by the dozen).
A POJ Studio kintsugui kit, for making repairs in gold.
A Hogarth Press first edition of Virginia Woolf's Monday or Tuesday, with plates by her sister, Vanessa Bell.
Aris Geldis' heavy bracelet of gilded fringe (or Gogo's acorn earrings of baroque pearl).
Bookmarks fit for royalty, designed by Ark Colour Design in Scotland.
A truly luxe hot-water-bottle cover, made by Samantha Holmes of ethically sourced alpaca and wool.
Smart shoes are always a treat—these are Tibi's Randolph flats in zebra-print pony hair.
A bottle of tears—could anything be more precious?
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One more indulgence: These funny gift guides are an annual delight to compile for all of you anonymous folks out there. I don't make any money from them—no affiliate links, no placements, nada! I'm an online renegade!—but if they have brought you joy or amusement, please consider making a donation to Doctors Without Borders. I'm donating what I can, too, and holding the people of Palestine, Ukraine, and Sudan in my heart. Thank you.
